Chapter 4 Marriage, 1776–1777



How did Stephen meet Miss Lum who was to become his wife?

Although details differ on how Stephen met the attractive servant-girl, we know for sure that the meeting took place on Water Street in front of Stephen’s shop. The water pump would attract many people who would stop for a drink.  Whether it was fate or just by chance that a beautiful brunette in her teens arrived, skipping along in bare feet. Biographer Patton tells us she was sixteen and flirtatious as are most young girls, sure of their own beauty. Stephen was captivated. She had what Stephen could never claim for himself—physical attractiveness. He had what she could never attain—a brilliant mind. Something clicked between them and they began seeing each other, despite the difference in their ages.
“One might ask what thoughts might Mary Lum have had after receiving a proposal of marriage.  The temptation of an offer of marriage to a young  servant girl by a captain and merchant who even  then was supposed to be a favored votary of fortune was certainly too great to permit her to  question or scrutinize the emotions of her heart. What might have been the destiny of Stephen Girard had his marriage been crowned with offspring?”1

When did Stephen marry?

The marriage took place on June 6th 1777. Mary Lum, a native of Philadelphia. also called “Polly” was almost a decade younger than Stephen.

What was Girard’s main disappointment in his marriage?

Girard lamented most of all that his wife did not become pregnant. For some reason she was unable to have children with her Stephen. He was all the more upset because he came from a family of many children. The men in the family were virile and the women were fertile.

How could a young attractive girl be drawn to a man ten years older than she who was not physically appealing with an eye deformity?

Mary’s desire was to marry a man of wealth and have children. Girard had everything she did not have: drive, intelligence and money. Polly had youth and beauty. He was perhaps flattered that she would want him. A year before meeting Mary Lum, Girard had met a beautiful woman in New Orleans by the name of Bébé Duplessis. She was French which pleased Girard but he found her to be too light and nimble a wit. In conversation, he was unable to match her repartee.2

Where did the newlyweds stay immediately after they were married?

They immediately stayed in a little room above the store.

Did they have a honeymoon?

The only honeymoon they had was to stay on board his boat while it was still anchored in the harbor—only a couple of days.

What attributes did Mary bring to the marriage?

Not many at all. She had no education; she couldn’t cook, was not good with figures, and could not be counted on to tend to the store.

Were any of Stephen Girard’s biographers negative about Stephen and Mary getting married?

Biographer Parton wrote:“Of all miserable marriages this was one of the most miserable. Here was a young, beautiful, and ignorant girl united to a close, ungracious, eager man of business, devoid of sentiment, with a violent temper and an unyielding will. She was an American, he a Frenchman; and that alone was an immense incompatibility. She was seventeen, he twenty-seven. She was a woman; he was a man without imagination, intolerant of foibles. She was a beauty, with the natural vanities of a beauty; he not merely had no taste for decoration, he disapproved it on principle. These points of difference would alone have sufficed to endanger their domestic peace; but time developed something that was fatal to it." William Wagner described the union of Stephen and Mary differently. “She (Mary) possessed a quick intelligence …and a ready appreciation of knowledge in others that went far to render her a most agreeable companion."
Chapter 4 Notes 

1. Wildes, Lonely Midas, 22-24.
2. Ibid., 25.

 

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